I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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