People with herpes should wear stickers.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
