i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize