I showed him my bush... on skype.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
