He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
