Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
