school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
