why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
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I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.