Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants