I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
