dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
