guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Ladies don't puke and tell
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
His nipple licking is glorious
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