Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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