when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
