I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
