I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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