ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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