Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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