You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize