Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
