Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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