i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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