Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
