he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
