I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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