I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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