I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
