i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
