Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
