Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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