I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
