What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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