I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
