White coat. Heels.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
