If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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