I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
