i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
