I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
