seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
