I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
