their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I know her cup size but not her name....
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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