So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
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I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
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She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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