Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
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The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
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I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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