Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
