he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
