When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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