He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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