I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
