I got chris browned last night
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
