so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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