but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize