I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
