Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
