you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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