I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
