Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
