we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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