Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize