I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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