i don't like sucking hair
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
