Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
