he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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